Competition

Small Dick Comp. - $22

We all know that men buy big trucks to compensate for penis size. It's a proven fact! But what you may not be aware of is a trendy competition sweeping Redneck and Hillbilly towns all over America: Small Dick Competitions.

These competitions are a sure sign that men with tiny penises are learning to accept and be proud of their sexual handicap. Thats right, Guys with tiny penises, wee-little penises, itty-bitty penises and no penis at all are owning their misfortune and celebrating their community through competitions that compare truck size and equate it to penis size. Not all guys have absurdly small penises, but these men do. And they hav no shame in their game!

Old Portland Never Dies

Old Portland Ramblin Rod Tee - $22

It's Us against Them!

It's more important than ever that we remember the Gods of Old Portland and take strength from their legacy. The Battle between Old and New Portland has ended with New Portland the Victor. But the War is not yet over. With the strength of the Old Gods -Ramblin' Rod Adlers, Tom and Gloria Peterson, The Grappler and Beetlejuice, The guy from the car stereo commercials...etc...- on our side, we will prevail.

Hail Old Portland!